One of the most frustrating things about being both a writer and a massive fan of Stephen King is the story about the publication of Carrie. It was King’s first attempt at a novel, and it was a ridiculously successful hit, garnering him hundreds of thousands of dollars in paperback rights and launching a career that has spanned decades. But the truth is, that’s not usually how it works. Most authors have multiple false starts, books that don’t go anywhere, publishing contracts that have fallen through, and many years of frustration and failures before something finally clicks.
I’m learning, the hard way, that most endeavors end up this way. Unfortunately, that includes my quest to get healthy.
A year ago, I started this blog in order to chronicle my efforts to transform from a fat, sedentary jackass into a trim, active jackass (some things don’t change with your body fat percentage). For months, I powered forward, and watched the pounds melt away. By the end of the summer, I was closing in on eighty pounds lost, I felt amazing, and I was absolutely certain that I had solved that part of me that had led to the obesity.
But the truth is this: That weakness, that vulnerability towards temptation and sloth? It doesn’t go away. Ever. It’s always there. If I let my guard down, even for a moment, it comes roaring back. My guard dropped in the fall.
I can go through a list of the reasons: family issues, being laid off, a stressful job search, yadda yadda yadda. The fact is, while each of these reasons are good, solid, understandable reasons, they can’t be excuses any longer. I can’t say, “Well, I’m going to eat right and exercise as long as everything is going smoothly.” Life is never going to be perfect. It’s never going to be free of stress and conflict. And I have to realize that part of who I am is a guy who will always want to reach for that bacon cheeseburger when he’s upset.
Three weeks ago, I got back on the Take Shape For Life program. It hasn’t been the smoothest start. I don’t have that same confidence that I did the first time, because I know all of the booby traps that life will lay out for me. I’m going to slip up. I’m going to make mistakes. But I have too many reasons to be healthy. Chief among them is this:
Yeah… No goofy caption for this one. It’s just far too awesome.
In September, I’m going to be married. There are all kinds of wonderful things that go with that. The main one? It’s not just about me anymore. I’m part of a family, with people who love me and count on me being there for them. I’m going to screw up, yes. But I’m also not going to quit. Because if I can get that woman to tell me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, I can put down that cheeseburger.
Here we go, people. Round 2. Let’s see if this one sticks.
